The start of a new year brings many resolutions. One we often hear about is people choosing to make this the year they will
become a more effective leader. Women in leadership roles often struggle with the need to maintain authority and still be approachable, which can be challenging. We turned to relationship expert, coach and therapist (as well as MyCity4Her Entrepreneur subscriber) Jeannie Dougherty Principal & Founder of Jeannie Dougherty & Associates to share with us her top 10 to maximize your feminine leadership professionally, but many of these tips can also work personally too.
Here’s what she has to say…
“I see so many talented professional women struggle with the concept of feminine leadership, because they still feel it has to be a black-and-white, good-or-bad approach. Feminine Leadership doesn’t mean you either have to be a pushover or a total bitch. In fact, feminine leadership can be a way of nurturing and caring for the people you’re leading, while also being strong and stern when need be.”
10 ways to optimally express your feminine leadership
1. Address Everyone By Name
Open your request by using someone’s name. For example, “Lauren, will you please…” It shows that you know who they are, and appoints a specific person to do the work.
When asking for something to be done, saying: “Will somebody please help?” really is too vague of a request.
2. Don’t Use Absolutes
If you use absolutes, like Always, Never or Everyone- -it can look to your employees that you are blaming them. No shaming or blaming.
3. Reciprocate Respect
It’s essential that you remind yourself and others that you’re a person, too. You deserve to be respected.
Likewise, try not to interrupt, be disengaged or use a difficult tone when speaking to others. Respect must be reciprocated to be earned.
4. Connect Before You Direct
Before giving your directive or asking a question, make sure you have an employee’s attention. Just about everyone you meet is in a hurry, and it’s important that you remind the person to focus on you.
Gently remind her how to focus by saying: “I need your eyes and your ears.”
Offer the same body language when listening to the person that you want back from them. Nonverbal communication says so much.
Also, be sure not to make your eye contact so intense that it’s perceived as controlling, rather than connecting.
5. Be Clear
Too much talking is a very common mistake when dialoging about an issue. Be clear and concise. Say what you need to say, without saying too much.
6. Ask For Them to Repeat the Request Back to You
If the person can’t repeat back what you just asked them to do, it’s too long or too complicated. Keep It Simple Stupid (KISS) was created for a reason.
7. Write It
Constant reminders can evolve into nagging, especially for employees who feel being told to get things done makes them seem like children.
However, some folks need the reminders. Try offering clear response times via email or text.
8. Continue to Explain What the Limits of Their Behavior Are
If you don’t want disrespect then don’t tolerate it. Susan Scott once said, “You get what you tolerate.”
You can use this same guidance at work, and even when dealing with your children.
Remind your children of what needs to happen in order for friends to come over, to attend special events; what their grades, homework, chores should be like; the respect and trust they must offer.
For example, I remember a parent I worked with spent most of her time, out of guilt, trying to make things better at home after they erupted. Her child repaid her with breaking curfew, police visits and refusal to pick up the phone or return text messages. Her child’s grades were in the toilet and the child was constantly missing school.
When I explained that this was totally unacceptable, and that cell phone privileges, social media and time with friends had to be earned; that the child needed to get good grades, go to school for rest of year, and trustful, respectful actions had to be shown before she should even consider letting the child off the hook, my client started taking things more seriously.
Believe it or not, these issues were not clearly defined to her daughter. Once it was, Mom had to put up with a few melt-downs at first, but things improved greatly.
9. Let Others Complete The Thought
Instead of explaining things until you’re blue in the face, allow for the other person to complete the thought. This helps you to hear what they understand and, more importantly, it allows you to step back.
Letting another person fill in the blanks will more likely create a lasting lesson and improve communication, because the communication allows for dialogue not top-down communication.
10. Close The Discussion
If a matter is really closed for discussion, say so. Say: “I’m not changing my mind about this; this discussion is closed for now.”
You’ll save wear-and-tear on both you and your child/friend/significant other/ employee.
Reserve your “I mean business” tone of voice for when you do. Not everything is a dialogue. Even great bosses do this from time-to-time: they give a directive and everyone is expected to follow.
Using these 10 tips you will be able to channel your feminine leadership style into all parts of your life, including professional and personal.
About Jeannie Dougherty
Jeannie Dougherty is an expert in relationships and a visionary leader in the field of relationship coaching and consulting. She has a Master’s Degree in Counseling and years of dance training in ballet, modern dance, Biodanza™ and 5 Rhythms™. Her focus is on how individuals and couples lose their rhythms, their sense of selves and their sense of transformation.
Her years of experience as a coach and a counselor, along with her background in dance, helped her develop her Conscious Movement Transformation™ methodology.
Jeannie’s intuitive instincts, keen movement-trained eyes, and the safe and supportive environment she creates give her clients give her the ability to help remove their blocks—their embodied fears—while moving toward their unlimited potential and their happy and flowing selves. She has ignited hundreds of individuals and couples to transform their relationship roadblocks into relationship fulfillments.
When Jeannie is not coaching, she’s dancing, practicing Bikram Yoga and Simplified Kundalini Yoga (SKY), and spending time with her loved ones and her three dogs. She enjoys hiking, cooking, and is thirsty for life’s adventures! Learn more about her business and how she can help by clicking here.