By Trish Dozier, LA4HER.com COI
Body language is powerful in every area in our lives, but in business, is held under the finest tuned microscope. The thing women in business often forget, which is essential, is that we can choose what we want to give off just as easily as what we choose to wear before tackling every new day. Choice is powerful in everything that we do.
How often do you think about the little things you do with your “outer” self when in front of a client? How often do you kick yourself for forgetting that you’re in front of a colleague by doing something that you should reserve for the private side of your life? How often do you consciously make decisions about what you’re going to do, prior to the action, and actually have the wherewithal to follow it through, no matter the reaction you face?
I am a firm believer in no templates for the “emotional” side of business. For the transactional/organization aspects, yes, some templates are actually helpful and quite the time-saver, but in those areas that are entirely too subjective to be plated on some sort of stagnant script there should never be a template… only objectives and choices.
You have a built-in toolbox to deliver the body language appropriate for your situation.
The old adage of the eyes being the window to the soul is not without its due here. The eyes are powerful in carrying integrity and solidarity. Being able to hold a sturdy gaze, in even the most tedious situation is priceless. If you never learn how to make steady and clear eye contact with your audience, be it one or a large group, you can also guarantee you will never be “seen.”
Hands are awkward appendages, aren’t they? They can be your best accompaniment or the headliner to your worst awkward moments. It’s not so much of an oddity when you’re sitting, but certainly when you’re the star of your presentation show, you can look like a lifeless dummy on legs, a visual tornado, or the continuous off-note to a beautifully laid out song. The best thing to do with your hands, when they become a point of display observation by others is to act as you do when nobody’s looking. They really are your allies.
Gait is a tricky element to body language, because there are so many personal challenges we face with not only our own DNA, but our self-expression of our body image. You don’t want to go the route of appearing on the negative side of confidence, which interestingly enough translates to overconfidence. You don’t want to shrink your appearance if, let’s say, you’re a tall woman. The most practical and probably hardest takeaway in the gait arena is simply owning the space you occupy. If you’re in a chair, talking about strategies for bottom line improvement with an audience of ten, own that space. If you’re in a room seating hundreds of people and find yourself on center stage, own that space as well. It’s all about perspective of the tools you have at hand and not creating an artificial reservoir for your posture. In stepping away from what you are accustomed to with your own gait, you are not yourself, which essentially defeats your purpose. That being said, if you know you “become” something else due to nerves or insecurity in certain challenging situations, it’s never too late to work on taking active steps to improve those skills.
Along the same lines of gait, consider your posture beyond the old nagging adage of standing up straight. If you’re constantly folding into yourself… crossing and uncrossing legs or arms, it’s likely to give off the wrong impression . If you’re over exaggerating your chest to prove how confident you feel, you will undoubtedly be called to the carpet in order to remind you that arrogance has no place in sound business practices. The best posture is the comfortable one… the natural lines of your body respecting itself without overdoing it.
A smile is a beautiful thing. It is infinitely easier to engage with someone who is or appears genuinely happy versus a face that nonverbally tells you to hit the road. However, just as with over exaggerated posture, a forced smile is not only one of the easiest things to spot, but also one of the worst to contend with.
Research shows that it only takes four minutes to make a first impression and that your body language accounts for 55% of that impression, then why not spend some time with yourself in an honest to goodness self-extraction. Start using the mirror as a tool versus a negative critique and simply observe and repair what needs to be improved upon.
More reading:
http://www.womenonbusiness.com/what-does-your-body-language-say-about-you/
http://www.nonverbaladvantage.com/blog/?tag=women-in-business
http://www.womenonbusiness.com/is-your-business-as-fit-as-your-body-or-are-you-becoming-invisible/
http://www.amanet.org/training/articles/Body-Language-Tips-for-Women-Who-Mean-Business.aspx